Thank You God

It has been some time since I last blogged...Life sometimes gets crazy and we get so consumed by our life's days that we don't take a minute to enjoy the things we love. I really do enjoy this blogging..It gives me an outlet and a voice that I don't always have.

God has been really busy with me lately. I wonder if he spends so much time on me how is he able to manage everyone else? He is ALL KNOWING AND ALL POWERFUL. He has been really convicting me of some areas in my life that I need to work on and at the same time opened so many doors for me.

I always want to do the right things, like Paul says, "The things that I should do I don't and the things that I should not do I do." I guess that is the case for most of us. I don't take being a christian litely. When I am doing something that is wrong or that I know God does not want me to part take in I get this anxious, nervous feeling. Like a school girl who has to hide because she knows someone is watching and she will get into trouble. I try to look at it like this, I know that God is part of my life or I would not have a guilty feeling.

Do you know how hard it is to have "special people" in your life? Or you want to be all to everyone and you can't so you get frustrated? Or you want to raise your kids so that they will be great citizens, but with all the challenges you find yourself ready to climb the walls? The bills come in the mail and you wonder where in the world did this come from and how in the world I am going to afford it this month? Your mom/dad calls with all the wonderful "ideas" about your life, kids, husband, etc. that they have because YOU certainly do not have time to think about them as you are already busy living your life? Well I do, this is my life!!!

There are days when I am so ready to jump out of the boat of life and become airborne; let the wind through my hair, my body dropping carelessly along the wind. The only sound is that of the birds above me. Then there are days when I would so rather stay in bed, pull the covers up over my head and tell the world to come back tomorrow. I realize that those things are not possible, as I do have responsibility and people who are counting on me, some for everything, some for little and some just to be there.

Those moments are when God says, "Sheila, those children need you, you are everything to them right now, your husband depends on you to help him get through his next 5 minutes, you have a friend in need right now and you must pull yourself together." I do! Because when I think about it, I expect the same things from God-My Heavenly Father. The difference is HE IS MY HEAVENLY FATHER and I do not have His patience, gentleness, kindness, peace, calm, resolve, understanding or compassion. I am not perfect, He does not expect me to be. He just expects me to be who I am when I am needed. He gives me all I need to get through those 5 minutes, meltdowns, aggrevations and disappointments. I love Him more than I can ever find words for. He is my one true love, the rain in my drought, the wind in my heat, the air that I breathe and the hole in my heart.

Thank You God for always being faithful to me even when I am not always faithful to you.