2009 moving on to 2010

WOW!!! I sit here and that is all that comes to my mind...What an exciting and devastating 2009. I learned a verse and it says "Behold, the Lord has gone out before you. " Judges 4:14 How appropriate that verse is for my life. I truly know in my heart that God has a plan for us. How can someone who knows every hair on our head not have a plan for us or go out before us and pave a way for us to walk?

I know that 2009 was not a good year for most of the people in this world. There have been times when I wondered where is this $ going to come from to pay this bill, or is my family going to be alright with this addition or subtraction? How can my husband be sick, what are we gonna do "IF"? Those questions have been in my life all year. When I thought I could not make it anymore guess what??? You got it something bigger or more complicated happened; but everytime My Heavenly Father was right there saying " I have gone out before you and I will reach out my hand to you, MY child, I am the Shepard and I watch over ALL my sheep, when one of you is lost I will NOT stop until I find you". That is what I have heard all year.

I know it is hard to believe in all that, but He is the only person/Father in my life who has EVER kept ALL of His promises. So I never stopped believing in Him and His word. There have been so many valleys that My family and I have had to endure but let me tell you THE VIEW UP ON THAT MOUNTAIN was very well worth all the valleys. Can I say though, it has not always been easy. I have cried, gotten angry, wanted to run the other way. (You see that is what I used to do), but I am so proud that with His strength and wisdom I stood there and went through it.

Moving on to 2010....God has blessed my family more than even I can understand. He did go out before me and set a new path. He has made things possible that are truly unbelievable. He has opened doors and closed doors, He has even touched my children in a way that only He can. I see positive things from my husband. Once I wrote that God has blessings stored up for all of His Children, one day we will get to heaven and say "Lord what are those containers for and He will say My Child, those are the blessings you did not recieve while on the earth." What a sad day...All we have to do is believe in our Lord Jesus and ask that He come into our torn, broken & sinful hearts and He will be there for you. Just like He is for me.

There are some many things in my life that are still works in progress. Those things I have truly laid at His feet and said, "Here you go, from this point on they are no longer my worries, I give them to you" He took them and let me go from those burdens. What a joy to not have to worry or fret over those things any longer. Thank You God for taking my sins and worries and carrying them for me.

I am so excited to start the NEW YEAR, I have a renewed love for my Heavenly Lord Jesus and cannot wait to see the valleys and mountains that He wants me to go through and up.

My most gracious Heavenly Father, I pray to you this night that whomever reads this will want to know more about you and your love for them. That they will seek you out and trust you with their New Year. I pray Lord for all those who are lost and suffering and have no where else to go, that you pull them out of the pit of Shame, Guilt and Condemnation to show them they ARE WORTHY and WORTH SOMETHING TO YOU. Lord, I ask that if there is anyone who comes into my path and needs your guidance that you will use me as your vessel. Thank you Dear Jesus for the underestimated Sacrifice you made so that we may have eternal life. In Jesus' Name I pray...Amen

No More...

There are times in life where I think we all say "NO MORE". I cannot do this anymore, put a fork in me I'm Done!!! I am so there right now. Seems as though God has more faith in my abilities at this time than I do. I want to scream and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH....When did I sign up for all this? Who said I could do this? Where was I when the vote was taken? Obviously, I was walking Levi..

I believe that right now WE all are at a crossroads in our lives. The times are changing, the things that we took for granted have gone away, people are at their lowest lows and willing to do anything to just get by or through that rough spot. In times like this, I truly believe God is calling us to get on our knees, relinquish our control and give Him our lives.

He and I are in such a tug of war right now. However, I must say He is so winning. He is asking me to do things that I either don't want to do or do not have the courage to do. Even for me it is a battle sometimes to do the right things. I would love to drink until oblivion, pass out and move on to the next day, but for the life of me I cannot. I guess I am truly thankful that part of my life is over...I don't always remember the "fun" I THOUGHT I was having, but to this day I can still remember the awful taste in my mouth and my stomach churning from all the unwanted liquids.

As I sit here and type this I realize that even though I am so not perfect or have all the answers God still WANTS to be in my life. He still wants to teach me things, grow me, show me but most importantly He wants me to have ALL the blessings that He has stored for me. You see I believe God has a million blessings for each of us. He so desperately wants to give them to us, but for us to appreciate all that He has in store we have to suffer, be burdened, hurt, be pulled apart by others because without all of the gushing water ways, the dry land would not seem so right. I don't know what AMAZING BLESSING He has in store for me right now, I know that I am definitely ready to take ownership of it. God is saying "Not yet MY CHILD", that is where I have to learn some valuable lessons..

1. Trust in God-He knows all that is right for me
2. Listen to His instruction-He holds all the directions that I need
3. Patience-Learning to say Ok, I will have self control and wait.
4. Faithfulness in Word-Remembering Faith comes by hearing not by sight.
5. Thankful Heart-Knowing that He still loves me enough to continue His work in me.

Even though right now, I am frustrated, aggrevated, overwhelmed, emotionally drained & tired I know that there will always be 1 Person in my corner, saying "Go Sheila, I believe in you, you can do it" and that is my Heavenly Father. My prayer at this very moment is that you know my Heavenly Father and you too have the same comfort when life throws curve balls that I do. I cannot imagine my life without Him. I may not always be faithful in following Him, but HE NEVER LEAVES ME...
Just some random thougths...

Changes...my own opinion

Can we really change all that we think we can? When I think about things in life there are some questions that we need to answer before we start talking about changing everything...

The first question is Why? Will this change affect how I do something? Will it affect how people view me? Will it make someone's day brighter? Will it make things worse?

The second questions is How? Will I have a meeting? Will I send out emails explaining the change? Do I ask people to help me? Do I want to do it on my own?

The third question is What is the outcome I am looking for? Will it take 2 minutes off of my day? Will it only add more time/responsibility to my plate?

The most important 2 questions that I can think that need to be asked are..What does God word say about it and have I gone to Him in prayer? For most of us the answers to these two critical questions are "I don't know" and "No, I have not gone to Him in prayer".

I hear alot lately about how people are changing this and changing that. I tend to get defensive about those things; first and foremost GOD knows about all of them and for whatever reason He has allowed those things to take place. Is it because He wants us to take a stand and say NO, I am not sure. I know His word says if we can do something about it DON'T PRAY, TAKE CARE OF IT. If we cannot do something about it then PRAY and pray fervently(?).

People are trying to change the world and His word to accomodate their own lives and how they are living. If you are not quilty of wrong doing against your Heavenly Father then why put so much time and energy into changing it? I believe that in each and every person their heart has a space CARVED OUT by our HEAVENLY FATHER. This space is for HIM, not someone dead or shunned but HIM. God does not want all of us to perish but have eternal life, it is however, OUR CHOICE, not HIS to make that decision. People are making wrong decisions because WE ARE NOT PUPPETS on a string. He created us with a mind and a WILL. He knew what each and every one of us was going to choose as we got older. He wants us to accept that His son died for our sins, but He also knew there would be people who would not accept Him.

There are people who could talk for hours about all the changes that are taking place in this world. I don't have that kind of time. I am choosing to spend my time helping others, hopefully making those around me aware of OUR HEAVENLY FATHER and what He has done for me and my life. My job as his servant is to TESTIFY to what I KNOW AND BELIEVE. I believe in the bible, I believe and have Faith that Jesus is my Saviour and that He DIED on the CROSS for my sins, he shed HIS blood so that I may have eternal life. No other "person, thing, etc" that I have heard about or read about has done that. They ask YOU to do that...That would be like me asking Olivia, William Keith or Shelby to lay down their life for me. Sounds ridiculous when it is put like that, don't you think? Well that is exactly what the "others" say.

I cannot change people or their thinking. I cannot make them believe in the FATHER,SON & HOLY SPIRIT. What I can do is show them, by how I live, how I handle situations in my life, how I battle storms that come my way. People who have a heart for God ARE ALWAYS SMILING...Ever notice that? Because they know their PEACE & JOY come from Him. Not their own control...

Let's spend more time focusing on how Jesus would want us to be then trying to change all things we cannot. It starts with us first. God will do good works in you when you believe and accept Him. It may not be tonight, tomorrow or even 5 years from now, but His word says that He will watch over His Sheep.

I am so glad that I am one of His many sheep. He has to come get me and look for me at times, but He does not rest until He has found me. That is because I have accepted Him and His son for dying for my sins and I believe that He rose again, so that I may live an eternal life..

Thank You God for allowing your sheep to always come home. That you love us so much that you are not willing to rest until all your flock is safe in your arms.

Thank You God

It has been some time since I last blogged...Life sometimes gets crazy and we get so consumed by our life's days that we don't take a minute to enjoy the things we love. I really do enjoy this blogging..It gives me an outlet and a voice that I don't always have.

God has been really busy with me lately. I wonder if he spends so much time on me how is he able to manage everyone else? He is ALL KNOWING AND ALL POWERFUL. He has been really convicting me of some areas in my life that I need to work on and at the same time opened so many doors for me.

I always want to do the right things, like Paul says, "The things that I should do I don't and the things that I should not do I do." I guess that is the case for most of us. I don't take being a christian litely. When I am doing something that is wrong or that I know God does not want me to part take in I get this anxious, nervous feeling. Like a school girl who has to hide because she knows someone is watching and she will get into trouble. I try to look at it like this, I know that God is part of my life or I would not have a guilty feeling.

Do you know how hard it is to have "special people" in your life? Or you want to be all to everyone and you can't so you get frustrated? Or you want to raise your kids so that they will be great citizens, but with all the challenges you find yourself ready to climb the walls? The bills come in the mail and you wonder where in the world did this come from and how in the world I am going to afford it this month? Your mom/dad calls with all the wonderful "ideas" about your life, kids, husband, etc. that they have because YOU certainly do not have time to think about them as you are already busy living your life? Well I do, this is my life!!!

There are days when I am so ready to jump out of the boat of life and become airborne; let the wind through my hair, my body dropping carelessly along the wind. The only sound is that of the birds above me. Then there are days when I would so rather stay in bed, pull the covers up over my head and tell the world to come back tomorrow. I realize that those things are not possible, as I do have responsibility and people who are counting on me, some for everything, some for little and some just to be there.

Those moments are when God says, "Sheila, those children need you, you are everything to them right now, your husband depends on you to help him get through his next 5 minutes, you have a friend in need right now and you must pull yourself together." I do! Because when I think about it, I expect the same things from God-My Heavenly Father. The difference is HE IS MY HEAVENLY FATHER and I do not have His patience, gentleness, kindness, peace, calm, resolve, understanding or compassion. I am not perfect, He does not expect me to be. He just expects me to be who I am when I am needed. He gives me all I need to get through those 5 minutes, meltdowns, aggrevations and disappointments. I love Him more than I can ever find words for. He is my one true love, the rain in my drought, the wind in my heat, the air that I breathe and the hole in my heart.

Thank You God for always being faithful to me even when I am not always faithful to you.

The Forest

Have you wondered why we have to endure hard times? You can look at them two ways; 1. Why me-is God picking on me? 2. What is it that God wants me to learn from this hard time/situation?

Do you feel like God is picking on you? That you have some unforgiven sin that you have not spoke with him about and now He is "paying you back"? The Lord and Father that I serve does not work that way. His word says: "O let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end; but establish the just: for the righteous God trieth the hearts and reins". Psalm 7:9

This says to me that when you endure hard times that He will establish justice for the those who suffer, it may not be today or even next year, but there will be a time when you can look back and say "THANK YOU LORD" now I see, I had to go through those trying times to be the person that I am. He is righteous and He wants us to know Him and trust him with all that we have.

In our world where there is "instant gratification, no accountability" we want it all and now and if it goes wrong we do not want to be responsible for it. That is NOT how God wants us to live our lives. Only good things can come from patience and accepting responsibility for own mistakes and doings can and will BUILD CHARACTER....

God allows us to endure difficulty to keep us humble and to appreciate all our blessings..When you are walking through the forest and you are lost, just that little bit of light shining through to help us out of the forest should be a blessing, not a complaint because it is too hot. Are you thankful for the heat, because of the light to help or are you ungrateful because you are hot and sweaty???

Where do you think God wants you to be???

Peace & Calm

What is PEACE & CALM? I find myself asking that question alot..Today however, is different. My heart is so overflowing with Peace & Calm, that I feel almost giddy inside.

Peace is learning how to give it all to God and knowing that He will give you all that you need to get through this phase in your life. Even if it is just for a minute, hour, day, night or longer. He truly knows what is in our best interest even when we don't see it. God does not want us to be all bent up or stirred up inside. He wants us to know Peace so that we may witness to others HIS strength and resolve THROUGH our lifes ups and downs. What a wonderous God we serve. He is willing to take on our hurts, fears, worries, regrets, anger, heartbreak and grief so that we can say "God is my strength and my Power, He is the one who helps me get through all things that I cannot do on my own."

Calm is knowing that by giving to Him, He is in control. That we don't have to be up tight anymore. He will put to ease our concerns and fears, keeping us close to His heart. When we are at the point where we can allow ourselves to let go and let God be in control then there will be great CALM...Many times in the Storm of Life I have had NO OTHER choice but give to Him, there were no more turns or twists in the road, He was the one waiting at the STOP SIGN, saying.."Come my Child, Reach out your hand into mine, and I will take care of you"..

When you are ever in doubt and need some refreshing on God's love, just go to His word and anywhere in there you will find His comfort, His strength, His peace, His kindness and most importantly His Grace...Because without His Grace in our lives, we would not see the Kingdom of Heaven...

God Bless you today on your journey and I pray that He will lift you up and cradle you when you are not able to lift yourself up....

Thanksgiving & Praise

My heart is filled with the love of the Lord. My head is filled with pain, anguish, despair. As hard as I try at times, I cannot put my arms around JOY, PEACE & CONTENTMENT. Have you ever had times in your life where you felt this way? You know all the right ways to be, but just can't find it within yourself to be or do it? I love the Lord my God with all my heart, and I realize that most of what my struggles are of my own doing. I also realize that God sees everything BEFORE it enters into my life. So I ask the question...Why am I so important to Him? Why does He continue to believe in me when I can't? Because I am like the rest of the world; I do not feel worthy and I am such a HUMAN. When God looks at me according to His word, he sees a likeness of Him. WOW!!! Now I really feel small....I realize that He created us to be Christ Like...Right now that is extremely hard for me to do. I get so caught up in "ME" that I cannot see His Likeness...

We all become burdened and cumbersome by our own feelings, life and surroundings that we truly do forget who is in control..We should always Thank our Father even in times of sorrow, hurt, pain and loss. Times have not been easy for my family right now and we are enduring things that we never thought we would have to endure, but I have to Thank God and rejoice in the fact that He is STILL IN CONTROL and He is STILL MY HEAVENLY GRACIOUS FATHER..

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.2 Serve the Lord with gladness;come before his presence with singing. 3 Know ye that the Lord He is God;it is He that hath made us, and not we ourselves;we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. 5 For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting;and his truth endureth to all generations."Psalm 100

We have to as individuals, county, country, world acknowledge who He is and praise him even when we are suffering.

I don't know about you, but knowing this has really made me look a little differently TODAY at my own situations and understanding. I am so thankful, grateful that He never gives up on me even when the world does...

May your day be blessed by this today and Know that God loves you and so do I as a child of God...